warning...still crying
2:23 p.m. - 2005-02-25

So the last time i wrote I was really feeling guilty for something. I am done over that and now I am pissed off. I picked up my BF from work yesterday and he told me that he had to go and get some jeep parts. I thought he had to go get me something for my birthday. My son called him a couple hours later and told him that he was at a friends. Hello i am over here with my birthday today and you are at some friends house??? So I called him back and asked why? He said oh you are going to get mad but i bought another 3 wheeler. Please tell me he just didnt say that!! We have about 6 of them already that dont work at all. So he gets home and my guilt went to crying once again. I couldnt believe on my birthday he went out and got him a 3 wheeler and didnt get me nothing. I feel like he doesnt care about me or my feelings. I do and buy what ever he needs and wants. I care more for him than he even knows. I just dont understand why I cant get that in return. I remember he said when he got this job that he would get me my ring. NO ring but he has gotten a $1000 jeep and $550 gun and now this 3 wheeler that is atleast $200. Now we are down to one car so next week he has to go spend more money for a different car. WHere am I in his life? We have been together for 4 years and I feel like I dont even know him anymore. If I wasnt here anymore would he notice? If i stopped caring would he even notice? Happy birthday to me I think whatever. Oh yeah this is my 30th so i will remember this for a long time. Crap I gotta stop cause I am crying again. I know I am worth to be cared for so why doesnt he care about me? I am full crying now so i am out!!

For the record - 2005-11-18

Long time no see - 2005-11-14

Confused - 2005-09-08

I dont know what to say... - 2005-09-01

cbs blows - 2005-08-20

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