whatta day
12:42 p.m. - 2005-04-13

Okay I am home early today why you ask? The school called me and told me that I had to pick up my kid. I feel like crying everytime I get those calls.
I feel like yelling out loud.....God why the hell are you picking on me all the time. What the hell have I done to done to deserve all this shit.. but then I think about it there would be a whole list of stuff HEHE! I just get so angry. So I walk into school and of coarse the entire gang is there. It kindof in a way makes me laugh but (shhhh dont tell my son this) If he does anything then there is usually about 5 adults to one boy. So I walk in and the gang goes on their way but a couple of them. His teacher is there. I start asking Austin what was going on. He just stood there and cried. Poor boy looked like he has been crying for 20 minutes. But I got to put my game face on and not give in. He didnt say nothing to me for about 5 minutes aso i asked the teacher what happened. I guess some boy pushed him and so austin pushed him back. They had to sit on time out which he did. The teacher then asked the boys to say sorry to each other and i guess austin didnt say sorry. If u know my boy u know that he is really quiet. Sometimes u have to tell him to speak up to understand him. He told me that he said sorry but the teacher didnt hear him. This is where the bi-polar side of him comes in. The teacher begins to lecture him and he feels really small and then he doesnt want to listen. So begins the drama. He doesnt come in when inside when the other kids do cause he is mad. The teacher lets him sit there for awhile. Then the teacher starts saying his name and walks over to him. He takes off. So the teacher runs after him. They get him in the office and I get the call. I feel for him a little bit cause here he is crying and there is 6 adults around him staring at him waiting for him to do something. Shit if i was 7 then i would feel trapped. So i talked to him and he told me that he didnt take his pills this morning cause he couldnt find them. I came home and someone must of knocked them off the table. So he went all day with out medication which i cant believe he wasnt worse. So i am stuck here wondering how and what I should do! I know that he will get his pills tomorrow if i have to wake him up at5am.

I feel like crap cause yesterday I should of went out to the grave of my grandma's. She died yesterday 3 years ago. How the hell could I forget till this morning. I guess alot going on in my life right now. I love ya grandma and miss ya like crazy!!

I talked to red today and she went out with Kevin last night. I think if he would live here then they would be dating but since the fallen of his buddy on the tower I think he is going home soon. He works on those huge tv towers doing something not forsure. So his buddy is hurt but alive. I am not for sure when he leaves but oh well it was great for her while it happened. Gotta go byeybe

For the record - 2005-11-18

Long time no see - 2005-11-14

Confused - 2005-09-08

I dont know what to say... - 2005-09-01

cbs blows - 2005-08-20

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